It’s the moment every parent dreads: Your child pouts, flails her arms, throws herself to the floor, and begins to howl. It’s another meltdown. While every parent faces this misery from time to time, there are some parenting routines that can make a difference. Perhaps the most important one of all? Your child’s bedtime routine.
The Importance of Quality Sleep
Did you know that lack of sleep is one of the factors that makes it harder for kids to manage their emotions? For a two-year-old, controlling feelings are hard enough! It’s even harder for your little one if she isn’t getting enough sleep at night. So, although it’s not easy to establish a bedtime routine, doing so is important not just for your child’s health, but for your state of mind, too.
Young Children Need Enough Sleep to Thrive
When young children don’t get enough sleep, they may be more irritable, hyper, or distracted. And often, parents suffer right along with them! What’s most troublesome is that these problems can multiply. Over time, sleep deprivation can cause more serious behavior problems, learning difficulties … even obesity.
In scientific terms, your child needs to optimize her natural circadian rhythms. Maintaining a consistent sleep routine is critical for positive “sleep hygiene.” A bedtime that is later than recommended may lead to your child waking up at night, waking up too early, or having trouble getting to sleep at all.
Sleep Requirements by Age
We regularly get questions about the best bedtime for children of different ages. While every child – and every home environment – is different, we can provide a few basic recommendations …
1. Bedtimes Vary in Infancy
Newborns tend to set their own sleep schedule, and this is by design! Their little tummies can’t hold much, so they need to be fed every two to three hours. Circadian rhythms don’t emerge until a child is about four months old. New babies haven’t developed them yet, and so they may sleep in two- to three-hour spurts, as exhausted parents know all too well. By four months, however, children can begin taking brief naps during the day and going to bed earlier – between 5:30 and 7:30 at night.
In fact, a bedtime before 7:30 pm is recommended for kids up to age 3, as naps go down to one per day or eventually disappear altogether. Remember: your child needs sleep. You’re not a bad parent for setting an early bedtime and enforcing it.
2. Young Children will Test You; Stay Firm!
Toddlers naturally seek more independence. Plus, their active minds can interfere with the sleep you know they need. Even when the sun stays out longer in the summertime, your child needs a regular bedtime.
From age three to six, your child might not be taking afternoon naps any longer, but she still needs that early lights-out time to get enough sleep. We recommend a bedtime between 6:00 and 8:00 pm. We also recommend no TV or electronics for children this young. Yes, it’s hard. But kids who depend on their screens at bedtime just don’t get enough sleep compared to kids who don’t.
3. School Age Children and Teenagers Need Limits, Too.
Children from age seven to twelve are more and more active. Their brains are learning a lot at school, and their bodies get worn out from play. At this age, kids will beg you for ten more minutes or ask to stay up later on weekends or over the summer. An occasional sleepover is fine! However, they should be getting to bed between 8:00 and 9:00 pm on most nights.
Teenagers need more sleep than you might think. In fact, they need more sleep than adults. So, don’t be afraid to enforce a bedtime for your older child. Too many teens stay up all night playing video games or chatting on social media, which can hurt their performance at school. Be the “bad guy” and take those screens away from them overnight! It helps them get the extra sleep they desperately need, and it sets them up with healthy sleep habits in the future.
These Tips can Make Bedtime Easier
Like so many other aspects of parenting, making bedtime easier for you and your kids requires developing a routine and sticking with it. Allow for flexibility … your bedtime routine may last between thirty minutes to an hour, but it should start at the same time every night. Does this take energy on your part? Of course. Is it worth it? Absolutely.
1. Make Sleep a Priority – and Bedtime a Predictable Routine
Children thrive on routines, and a bedtime routine is vital. Developing a nightly ritual in which your child knows to change clothes, brush teeth, and calm his or her body down for sleep can go a long way toward making bedtime stress-free. Add a special touch – like getting your child’s favorite toy or reading a story with her – to associate positive feelings with bedtime.
2. Set up a Cozy Environment for your Child
The sleep environment matters, too. Does your child have a quiet, dark room to sleep in each night? Even if your child shares a room, try to make the environment as calm, cool, and quiet as possible so that your child has an easier time going to sleep. Letting them sleep with an object familiar to them, like a blankie or a favorite teddy bear, can help provide them with security, as well.
3. Final Dos and Don’ts
A snack is okay, but avoid sweets and anything caffeinated. Little reminders or advance notice – even if it’s as simple as “bedtime is in 10 minutes!” – can help your child prepare.
Finally, avoid the “one last” trap. Your child will inevitably ask for one last drink of juice or one last cartoon episode. Try to absorb some of these “one last” activities into the overall routine, and then hold firm, parents! Your child will be just fine without one last episode of My Little Pony.
Speak Your Mind